I'm losing the battle to lose weight. My weight, while it has not gone up, it is not going down. I know exactly what it takes for me to lose the weight: exercising and dieting, but it's becoming evident that this is much harder for me to shed these pounds. It's also hard for me to face the reality that it's going to take me at least a year to get down to the weight I want. As much as I want to lose weight quickly, I know it's not healthy.
It's discouraging, but I'm not going to give up. I'm going to have to work all that much harder to just lose the little bit of weight I plan to lose each week.
I need an accountability/workout buddy. I get frustrated too easily and instead of completing my exercise program, I quit and then get mad. I need outside motivation because it's apparent in my lack of progress that doing this on my own IS NOT WORKING!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Losing Pounds
As I continued to search for a focus for my writing, I've realized that I have a far more serious concern looming.
My weight.
For the majority of my life, I had been slender. I could eat just about anything I wanted and it wouldn't affect me.
Not anymore. Before I gave birth to my daughter, I gained a considerable amount of weight during my junior year of college. When I was expecting my daughter, my weight crept up and stayed up.
Now it's time for it to come down. The irony is not lost on me that as a child, I would comment on the pounds that others would need to lose and quite accurately, according to my mother. Mom marveled at my word choice (for such a young child.)
"We didn't know where you got that from. He or she needs to lose pounds. Most people say weight," she would say to me.
At any rate, whatever you call it, weight or pounds, this chick right here needs to lose them.
Lord help!
My weight.
For the majority of my life, I had been slender. I could eat just about anything I wanted and it wouldn't affect me.
Not anymore. Before I gave birth to my daughter, I gained a considerable amount of weight during my junior year of college. When I was expecting my daughter, my weight crept up and stayed up.
Now it's time for it to come down. The irony is not lost on me that as a child, I would comment on the pounds that others would need to lose and quite accurately, according to my mother. Mom marveled at my word choice (for such a young child.)
"We didn't know where you got that from. He or she needs to lose pounds. Most people say weight," she would say to me.
At any rate, whatever you call it, weight or pounds, this chick right here needs to lose them.
Lord help!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Getting it together
Considering it has been months since my last post, before I could complete this posting, I had to go back and re-read what I had written.
Unfortunately, nothing has changed since that "New Year, New Post" post. I still procrastinate and I still have not decided what I want this blog to be about.
The dominant thought I have is to use this blog to share my experiences as a single mother, but that would force me to delve into some issues that are completely unique to single parents and I just don't want to do that. But then again, tackling the tough issues can be beneficial not just to be but to other single parents out there. So, I'll consider that or perhaps I could delve deeper and discuss all family matters; not just those pertaining to single-parent families.
Or I could post samples of my writing and ask you all (haha, I don't have many followers) for feedback. Hmm, that might not be a bad idea.
At any rate, I just hope it won't be another 4 months before I decide to post anything because that is very well possible. I'm getting back into my writing again and this is one way to stay in practice and to stay sharp.
Until next time.
Unfortunately, nothing has changed since that "New Year, New Post" post. I still procrastinate and I still have not decided what I want this blog to be about.
The dominant thought I have is to use this blog to share my experiences as a single mother, but that would force me to delve into some issues that are completely unique to single parents and I just don't want to do that. But then again, tackling the tough issues can be beneficial not just to be but to other single parents out there. So, I'll consider that or perhaps I could delve deeper and discuss all family matters; not just those pertaining to single-parent families.
Or I could post samples of my writing and ask you all (haha, I don't have many followers) for feedback. Hmm, that might not be a bad idea.
At any rate, I just hope it won't be another 4 months before I decide to post anything because that is very well possible. I'm getting back into my writing again and this is one way to stay in practice and to stay sharp.
Until next time.
Monday, January 17, 2011
New Year, New Post
I can't believe (well, actually I can) that it has been almost a year since my last blog post. I attribute this delay to of course my propensity to procrastination, laziness and sheer disinterest (like with any new toy, the novelty wears off rather quickly). I also can attribute this to the fact that I am a private person and don't always feel comfortable sharing my thoughts and feelings with strangers.
But, I think all of that is going to change as 2011 marches on. I realize that procrastination has to do with a lack of discipline that snow balls into laziness and then an attitude of eh, well, I wasn't all that into _______________ (insert anything here.) As far as privacy is concerned, I don't necessarily see the floodgates opening anytime soon and a complete outpouring of my soul, but I do see this as an opportunity to express myself. With the way the world is, I'm sure I'll have a lot to talk about. I'm still trying to figure out what I want this blog to be.
That will all have to wait, however as my little one is demanding her mommy's attention, so until next time!
But, I think all of that is going to change as 2011 marches on. I realize that procrastination has to do with a lack of discipline that snow balls into laziness and then an attitude of eh, well, I wasn't all that into _______________ (insert anything here.) As far as privacy is concerned, I don't necessarily see the floodgates opening anytime soon and a complete outpouring of my soul, but I do see this as an opportunity to express myself. With the way the world is, I'm sure I'll have a lot to talk about. I'm still trying to figure out what I want this blog to be.
That will all have to wait, however as my little one is demanding her mommy's attention, so until next time!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
A reason, a season, a lifetime...
Just as quickly as KFS entered my life, he has exited in the same fashion. Though I'm not exactly sure why, it really no longer matters at this point.
The reason why we were in each other's lives was to close a chapter that had been left opened and unfinished for years. That chapter is now closed, the letter has been written and now the reason for us to connect again no longer applies.
I'm not sorry that we met at this point in my life and I don't regret that it didn't happen sooner. I don't think I would have been able to handle it in the way that I am handling it now, considering the grand exit that he has made.
Meeting my bio-dad put into perspective a lot about me, my past, everything that has happened to me and even how I have been towards others.
God put the people in place who were going to stay in my life longer than just for a reason. I'm grateful for what I learned during the brief time he was in my life and wish him the best.
The reason why we were in each other's lives was to close a chapter that had been left opened and unfinished for years. That chapter is now closed, the letter has been written and now the reason for us to connect again no longer applies.
I'm not sorry that we met at this point in my life and I don't regret that it didn't happen sooner. I don't think I would have been able to handle it in the way that I am handling it now, considering the grand exit that he has made.
Meeting my bio-dad put into perspective a lot about me, my past, everything that has happened to me and even how I have been towards others.
God put the people in place who were going to stay in my life longer than just for a reason. I'm grateful for what I learned during the brief time he was in my life and wish him the best.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Miss E-isms (Part II)
Here's the latest installment:
1. Miss E is hilarious and a little random...she woke up and said to me, "I need to fix your glasses." She took them off of my face, wiped them off, gave them back to me and went back to sleep.
2. Miss E: "We get our nails done first, then shopping, OK Mommy?" LOL :)
3.While in Wal-Mart: Miss E: "Here Mommy, this will make you feel better!" She hands me a jar of Complete Anti-Wrinkle Cream... thanks a lot... lol.
The kid never ceases to amaze me!
1. Miss E is hilarious and a little random...she woke up and said to me, "I need to fix your glasses." She took them off of my face, wiped them off, gave them back to me and went back to sleep.
2. Miss E: "We get our nails done first, then shopping, OK Mommy?" LOL :)
3.While in Wal-Mart: Miss E: "Here Mommy, this will make you feel better!" She hands me a jar of Complete Anti-Wrinkle Cream... thanks a lot... lol.
The kid never ceases to amaze me!
The Unfinished Letter is Finished! (Part II)
I could hardly sleep last night because of all of the questions I have yet to ask KFS were tumbling, spinning, and flipping through my head. As it was, I did not get to bed until sometime after 1 a.m. I was that excited!
And my excitement has not worn off...I found him and he had been looking for me! I'm still shocked at how all of this turned out. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that after all of these years of searching, that I would really and truly find him. It seemed like one of those made-for-tv movies. What's even more surprising to me is that he wanted to find me and wanted me to be a part of his life and I was, even if I was not there physically.
And what unfolded over a five day period was actually 14 years in the making...
I was 11 years old when I found out (by accident) that a relative in my family was actually my biological mother and not the woman I call and still call Mommy. I had randomly come across some medical papers that were in the trunk of my mother's car. When I saw them, I didn't put two and two together. I thought this relative was coincidentally at the hospital the same day I was born for a completely unrelated reason.
When my mother told me otherwise, I didn't know what to do or how to think. Over the years, I was able to get information about KFS. Throughout high school he was never too far from my mind, but I had no idea where to look, how to look or even if I should.
I struggled with this for years and it wasn't until after I finished college and had Miss E did I decided I would search for him and if I didn't find him or if he wanted nothing to do with me, I would put it to rest once and for all.
In 2008, I contacted the college he attended, specifically the alumni association office requesting information about him. The woman with whom I spoke told me that they couldn't give out information because of privacy concerns but that she would forward my info on. I never heard anything. Even though I was disappointed, I felt I had my answer. So I left it alone. Until recently.
I have a Facebook page and every once in awhile, I tried to look up his name without any success. In late January, I found the college alumni association page and added myself as a fan. I had planned to send a message, telling his fellow alumni that I was looking for him, thought better of it and then decided to go back through the alumni association, only this time, I would just ask for a photo.
I sent the same woman I had contacted back in '08 a message. This time telling her a little more about my search, why I was searching, and how that I'd really appreciate, at the very least a photo with him in it.
In the meantime, I had asked an area library for a game photo (he played basketball) based on the game dates I gave the historian.
I checked my e-mail every day and hadn't heard anything. I told my mom about my search and that I would probably give the woman a week to respond and then send my request to another department on campus.
We've been out of school since having a two-hour-early dismissal on Friday and yesterday I had made plans to get ready to go to school mid-afternoon. Before I got myself ready, I checked my e-mail again. And there it was. In my inbox, his name. Right at the top. Being the crybaby that I am, I burst into tears and I hadn't even read the entire message. I didn't know what to think.
I called my mom, told her that he had contacted me. I told her that I didn't know what to say to him or what to do.
She calmed me down, told me to call him and the rest, they say, is history! Now I just want to focus on making up for lost time and to get to know him.
And my excitement has not worn off...I found him and he had been looking for me! I'm still shocked at how all of this turned out. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that after all of these years of searching, that I would really and truly find him. It seemed like one of those made-for-tv movies. What's even more surprising to me is that he wanted to find me and wanted me to be a part of his life and I was, even if I was not there physically.
And what unfolded over a five day period was actually 14 years in the making...
I was 11 years old when I found out (by accident) that a relative in my family was actually my biological mother and not the woman I call and still call Mommy. I had randomly come across some medical papers that were in the trunk of my mother's car. When I saw them, I didn't put two and two together. I thought this relative was coincidentally at the hospital the same day I was born for a completely unrelated reason.
When my mother told me otherwise, I didn't know what to do or how to think. Over the years, I was able to get information about KFS. Throughout high school he was never too far from my mind, but I had no idea where to look, how to look or even if I should.
I struggled with this for years and it wasn't until after I finished college and had Miss E did I decided I would search for him and if I didn't find him or if he wanted nothing to do with me, I would put it to rest once and for all.
In 2008, I contacted the college he attended, specifically the alumni association office requesting information about him. The woman with whom I spoke told me that they couldn't give out information because of privacy concerns but that she would forward my info on. I never heard anything. Even though I was disappointed, I felt I had my answer. So I left it alone. Until recently.
I have a Facebook page and every once in awhile, I tried to look up his name without any success. In late January, I found the college alumni association page and added myself as a fan. I had planned to send a message, telling his fellow alumni that I was looking for him, thought better of it and then decided to go back through the alumni association, only this time, I would just ask for a photo.
I sent the same woman I had contacted back in '08 a message. This time telling her a little more about my search, why I was searching, and how that I'd really appreciate, at the very least a photo with him in it.
In the meantime, I had asked an area library for a game photo (he played basketball) based on the game dates I gave the historian.
I checked my e-mail every day and hadn't heard anything. I told my mom about my search and that I would probably give the woman a week to respond and then send my request to another department on campus.
We've been out of school since having a two-hour-early dismissal on Friday and yesterday I had made plans to get ready to go to school mid-afternoon. Before I got myself ready, I checked my e-mail again. And there it was. In my inbox, his name. Right at the top. Being the crybaby that I am, I burst into tears and I hadn't even read the entire message. I didn't know what to think.
I called my mom, told her that he had contacted me. I told her that I didn't know what to say to him or what to do.
She calmed me down, told me to call him and the rest, they say, is history! Now I just want to focus on making up for lost time and to get to know him.
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