Concentration

I can't seem to concentrate long enough to write anything this evening. So I asked my oldest child to pick a writing prompt for me to write about. During Christmastime, I had purchased a book of writing prompts because I wanted to sharpen my writing and try to write something everyday...I have only written in it twice. At any rate, here is the writing prompt Miss E selected for me: Do you like horror stories? What is the best one you have ever heard?

I do not go out of my way to read horror stories, but I would read a horror story before I'd ever go to the movie theater and see a horror film. I don't like such books and films because they take me to a place I don't like going. I believe the last horror story I read was probably an R.L. Stine book when I was in high school. I can't say this is the best I've ever heard, but the horror story that sticks out in my head is the story about the girl with the yellow ribbon around her neck. I was in elementary school when I first heard the story; it bothered me to no end after I heard it. Now that I am much older, I can handle it much better, but I'd rather leave the horror stories for people with better stomachs and minds to handle such tales. I may have to sleep with a light on tonight...

#BeforeFacebook Writing Everyday 2/3/2016

Yes, there was life before Facebook. It's hard to imagine, but there was a time when people did not post their random thoughts, selfies, and meals for everyone to see. Before Facebook, I was less concerned with the happenings of acquaintances, friend,s and family. I first learned about FB when I was in college. A friend of mine from high school would ask me regularly if I was on FB; at the time, it was only available to college students and even then only certain colleges and mine was not one of them. But, as soon as it was, I joined. It's hard for me to believe I have been on FB for over 10 years now. I don't know when I went from an occasional user to someone who checks her FB page several times a day. For the most part, I have enjoyed the evolution of the website as well as my own evolution of usage. Lately, I have enjoyed that FB shares memories. It has been interesting to see who I knew, what I was doing and what I was thinking all those years ago. I have shared a lot of random thoughts, quotes, and life happenings on Facebook. It will be interesting to see how FB will be 10 years from now.

Writing Everyday 2/2/2016

I am working on a reflection piece about my fathers and my family. Six years ago today, I spoke to my father for the first time. Speaking to him on the phone helped me to take the all-important step of moving on from the anger and frustration I felt of not knowing who or what my father was about and the constant anger, hurt, and sadness I felt knowing my biological mother wanted nothing to do with me.

I am by no means completely unscathed by what happened, but meeting him and talking to him and including him in significant parts of my life helped me to really know my place in my family.

More to come!

Writing Everyday

This month I am going to write everyday. If I am serious about this whole writing thing, then I need to set aside the time to write and to work on my craft. Time is something I haven't felt I have had a lot of in recent months, but I've got to make the effort and find the time. I know some of my pieces will be long and others, such as this, will be quite short because of time constraints and Writer's Block. I am convinced that most of my Writer's Block stems from the over-analyzing I do about everything. Confidence and my desire to not ruffle any feathers keeps me extremely cautious. I don't know when I started being guarded in my writing, but it is a hindrance that has kept me from opening up. At any rate, all I know is right now I want to complete my goal of writing everyday and using this blog to help me keep track of my work.

Finding Purpose

When I was a child, I dreamed of being a writer, lawyer, and a reporter. I started writing stories when I was seven years old. I had a knack for storytelling;I was asked to write a speech for my 5th grade graduation and I won an award for my D.A.R.E essay (also in the 5th grade). I slowed down a bit on my writing in middle school, but picked it up in high school. I excelled in my English classes, especially when it came to creating stories. I was still interested in being a reporter, so it seemed like a natural progression that I would write for my high school newspaper, become co-editor and carry my love for writing and storytelling into college.

By the time I got to college, I had not given another thought to becoming a lawyer, but becoming a writer and a reporter were still pretty high on my list. I wrote a lot in college. I wrote the required research papers and essays and I wrote stories too. I wrote a couple of articles for my journalism classes and I believe one of my articles was published, but truth be told, my heart wasn't in it.

I listened to others when they said that becoming an author wouldn't pay the bills. I set aside my dreams of being writing books for a living and focused on being a reporter instead. It was still a career in writing after all and that was good enough.

Fast forward ten years: I have graduated college, wrote for a local paper for two years and then became a teacher. I still write as a teacher, but it is not what I thought I would be writing (ex.lesson plans, tests, quizzes, writing prompts,projects, etc) nor is it the profession I'd ever given serious thought to pursuing. Interestingly though, when I was in college (perhaps my junior year) I had written a letter to myself asking my future self what career path I would follow and teaching was one of the careers I had listed.

Nevertheless, as I look back on the decisions I've made, I've deferred my dream of becoming a writer. There's no getting around that. So now what? What happens to a dream deferred? What has happened to my dream, my love for writing and telling stories?

I love writing too much to ever be completely done with it. I have several stories that are in various stages of completion; they are the glimmers of hope that keep me inspired to write. No matter what is going on in my life, I always go back to writing. Writing gives me peace, and an escape from my regular life. Lately, my desire to write is stronger than it has ever been and I want to capitalize on that.

I hope to use this blog as a way of reconnecting with my writing and connecting to others who write. How far can this love for words take me?

Running on Empty

Life is short. Life is precious. Life is hard. Life is...whatever you can make of it. This is the only life on Earth we will have. What are you going to do with the life you have? This is what I have been asking myself. Lately, I have been running myself ragged and yet I don't feel like I am making any progress. Then after a couple of trips to the doctor's office, I finally realized my problem.

I have been running on empty. I don't think I can say I am even running on fumes. I am completely tapped out. Nevertheless, I tried to give and give until I was giving...nothing. And I'm exhausted.

How can I get back to being full? Life isn't about running on empty. It's about being well enough and well-adjusted enough so that you can enjoy the little moments and get through the tough times.

Be Healthy "Self-care is the best care," as a dear colleague once told me. If you're not healthy, the energy you put out will not be healthy. Try your best to eat enough healthy foods, exercise when and wherever you can, and rest. If you need to and you can, go to the doctor. Don't let minor health issues turn into big nuisances. I probably could've gotten my Vitamin D problem taken care of and avoided feeling fatigued all the time if I had gone to the doctor sooner rather than later and saved a few bucks in the process.

Do Something You Enjoy Even if it is something you haven't done in years, revive an old hobby. I love to crochet. I learned how to do it when I was a child. I recently decided I wanted to make a blanket, so I went on YouTube to find some videos on how to make one using the Granny Square patter. I haven't established a time frame on when I will complete my blanket, but when I crochet, I immediately feel relaxed, even if for five minutes. Find something you enjoy and carve out some time to do it.

Phone a Friend We're all busy and don't always have time to chat for hours on end, but a phone call every once in a while is okay. One of my closest friends and I try to make it a point to catch up at least once a month. We're both busy with families and jobs, but we still try to talk on the phone for at least a few minutes before our attention is diverted elsewhere. In a world where emails, Instagram, and text messages rule, phone calls can be almost nostalgic, a relic of less stressful, hectic times.

This is just a partial list of things to do to keep yourself centered and not running on empty. What are some things that you do or would like to do to maintain balance in your life?

Create Opportunities...

where there are none. It's all about perspective. How we look at our circumstances determines whether or not we can see opportunities, even when it seems there are none to be found. When our perspective changes, we can find new ways of thinking and being. It's about being willing and capable of trying new things. This has been hard for me. I am a creature of habit and I have been hesitant to look at things differently.

This month, I am going to take a different approach to how I look at what makes up my life, especially my daily struggles and triumphs. In some ways, I feel like I have already started. I would really like to try my hand at freelance writing. I know it won't be easy, which was why I never attempted it in the past, only talked about it. I would take the defeatist attitude approach, convincing myself of all the reasons why it wouldn't work, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure. This time, I'm going to go into freelancing with the mindset that I will look for opportunities no matter what the outcome of this venture turns out to be.

Everything that happens provides us the chance to learn and to make changes. Embarking on this journey means that there will be a lot of trials and errors, but also plenty of chances to create opportunities where there are none and learn from the challenging times.