P.S. The Unfinished Letter(by the Sylvers)

Even though the song is talking about an unfinished letter to a lover, the song made me think of some things in my life that are unfinished. I feel that there is one thing in my life that is unfinished, one of the few things I really need closure on. I just have to that missing piece. I've been searching for that piece (and peace) for 14 years.

I know I'll always be a work in progress, but there is something that I want to know about. And once I find it, maybe, just maybe, I can put it to rest.

I've sat on it for years and I'm past the stage of worrying about whether or not I will get my feelings hurt or if anyone else's feelings will get hurt, for that matter. KFS, I know you're out there. I just have to find you.

Parenthood...

was something I wholeheartedly expected to NOT do alone. I had envisioned marrying the man of my dreams in a simpe and elegant church wedding, and then having children. I wanted a "traditional" family life. (BUT I've learned that when you do things the "non-traditional" way, not to expect traditional results!)

The trials and triumphs of motherhood and single-motherhood at that, are experiences that have shaped me and forced me to look at things about myself that I don't think I would have had I gone down the traditional route. I had to go through those things in order to better understand myself and what I want for my child.

It's hard though because I don't ever want my child to feel like she's missed out on having her Mommy and Daddy together. I don't want her to feel like she's lost something or that something is missing from her life. She didn't ask to be brought into this, so it's my job to make sure that she understands what she can when it's appropriate and that she understands what it really means to be a family.

First Blog Post

I had been thinking about starting a blog, but couldn't really find a solid justification in doing so. I mean, what do I have to say that would be of any remote interest to anyone? I'm just Allyson (Ally, Al, or AJ to some), nothing special, nothing fancy over here.

So I put it on the back burner. And then I thought about the lack of time that I seem to have these days... running after a two-year-old and teaching, when could I possibly find the time to sit down and type something? So today, I stopped over-analyzing, stopped straddling the fence and decided, why the heck not?

Who knows, maybe at some point, I might say something profound, something worth sharing and someone could read it and then say something like "Wow. She's got something about her. I wonder what else she has to say. She's really touched me. Amazing." (Ha. Yeah, I agree. Not very likely.)

And I guess if you talk to my family and friends, I'm more than just Allyson. I'm a mother, daughter, sister and friend.

So here it is, Bird's Eye...err...Bond's Eye View. Take it for what it's worth. It was free. LOL.